finding you well

i look back to those days and remember how it felt to love you. to remember how we shared the same kind of pain. to think of how we could connect with words in a way few others could. i wish you had known me when i was truly well. i think you would have liked me even better, and there wouldn't have been that same level of turmoil.

help

i could really use so much help and advice right now, but my mind is so numb from sadness that i am only drawing blanks. i don't even know how to ask for help right now. so i won't. i'll just ask that you keep me in your thoughts, if not your prayers, at least for a little while.

thanks.

The Homosexual Agenda

Many in the homosexual community have long denied the existence of an agenda, tailored to advance the cause and the ideology of our…race? Religion? Socioeconomic status? Ah, no—our sexual orientation. I’m here to tell you that we do indeed have an agenda, and it threatens to drastically change the status quo of heteronormative life in America.

The modern homosexual is like a previously endangered species protected by federal wildlife laws (in this case increased social acceptance), whose apparent numbers have increased over the years. The locals, of course, want to start “thinning the herds,” and their argument is clear: the increased numbers of this protected group are gravely affecting the populations of the natural majorities. Clearly the protected group, a mere 3-4% of the communal population, is doing too well and competing so ferociously that the majority will be impaired and disadvantaged beyond repair. Lions and tigers and bears….oh my!

These sentiments are most clearly echoed in the black-and-white educational films of the 1950s that suggest homosexuality is an insidious, yet highly transmissible sickness of the mind. Titles like “Boys Beware!” portray homosexuals as if they were communists, lurking in every dark corner, ready to seize the souls of the weak, innocent, and dull. Certain stereotypes of the homosexual male are now dated remnants of a bygone era: the too friendly Samaritan, the overly interested stranger, or the deceptive mentor. Yet these stereotypes, crude as they may be, reflect the subversive nature of and inherent risks in identifying oneself as a homosexual at that time. Homosexuals had to lurk under piers, in public restrooms, and within the dark, foreboding shrubbery of parks because society had pushed gays to the fringes, forcing us deeper into the darkest recesses of our own communities.

Admittedly, homosexuality has an insidious side, but not in the way of cult-like recruiting efforts promoting absolute hedonism and the immediate gratification of carnal desires. Give me a break. It is a rampant and well-lobbied homophobia that pits friends, neighbors, and families against one another. It is the sustained drudgery of poorly constructed stereotypes and witless jokes that only serve to lessen the bitter taste of the hatred these people pour into the hearts of their children. It is being silent when action is called for, being complacent when faced with adversity, and allowing hate to conquer love.

So I promised a homosexual agenda, and a homosexual agenda you shall have: our only agenda is to defeat the conformism and social mores that argue we aren’t worthy to exist in the public eye. It is to promote diversity, respect of self, and tolerance of others. It is trying to understand another point of view even when it shakes our sense of morality and truth to the core. It is to seek the lasting love of our partners, friends, and families without strangers publicly questioning our motives or devotion. It is ultimately the pursuit of happiness. It’s been a long time coming, but thank God Almighty it’s here at last.

If you can’t agree with that, God help us, and God help the USA.